April Fool's!

Several years ago when I still had a chalk board (oh, I miss that chalk board), I had the vocabulary words for that week on the board.  We had a test that Friday, which just so happened to be April 1st.  The poor students came in and thought that I had carelessly left the words on the board.  They chuckled and tried to keep a straight face.  They snuck glances when they thought I was not looking.  The delighted in getting one up on the teacher and felt relieved that they were going to get away without having studied (yet again).  However, being the mean and utterly evil teacher that I am, I had decided to play a trick on those unsuspecting children.  The Thursday afternoon before, I carefully erased the words and replaced them with misspelled versions.  When they found out, they cried foul.  I laughed at them and teetering on if I should or should not count the test, one student snottily said, "If you had studied, you would have known the words were misspelled" (you gotta love teacher's pets).  I won't say if I really did count the grade or not, but let's just say I am very susceptible to the dark side of the force.

Now, April Fool's day has been with us for a very long time.  The same jokes get used over and over again.  All of us remember getting fooled at least once, few of us can really tout having a really cool joke to play on others. But where did this holiday start?  It seems that for years people have not known the answer.  In 1708, in the British magazine Apollo, the question of the holiday's origin was raised, even then with an unsatisfactory answer.  Oh I know you have heard something about the calendar change causing problems and such, but there are many possible origins.  You can read about them here: http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/Hoaxipedia/April_Fools_Day_-_Origin/

Of course, the one we're interested in is mythologically oriented.  Here is the account, according to the page listed above:

In Roman mythology Pluto, the God of the Dead, abducted Proserpina and brought her to live with him in the underworld. Proserpina called out to her mother Ceres (the Goddess of grain and the harvest) for help, but Ceres, who could only hear the echo of her daughter’s voice, searched in vain for Proserpina. Some scholars theorized that the fruitless search of Ceres for her daughter (commemorated during the Roman festival of Cerealia) was the mythological antecedent of the fool’s errands popular on April 1st.

And that is no April Fools!

Were-Cows and Car Stealing Were-Goats

Now, we've already done an entry on lycanthropy, but this goes off in another direction.  Turning into a wolf is not the only trick in town.  In fact, almost all cultures have a were-something.  My favorite is boanthropy, the act of turning into a cow.  You know, being a were-wolf is cool.  Being a were cow..., now that is about as useless as being a were-rabbit or a were-goat.  Goat?  

Wait a minute, turning into a goat might have its uses, such as in living a life of crime.   That's right, just think of the possibilities that present itself when you are a were-goat to live a life of crime.  In fact, in one of those cases where mythology comes to life, we have proof of a were-goat car thieving ring going on.  I got the article here, but you can read it below:

*For attempting to ‘steal’ a Mazda car

It was a shocking sight yesterday as men of the Kwara State Police Command paraded a goat as an armed robbery suspect.

The goat "robbery suspect"

The goat "suspect" is being detained over an alleged attempt to snatch a Mazda car. The mysterious goat, according to the Police Public Relations Officer, Mr. Tunde Mohammed, while briefing bewildered journalists at the Force headquarters, is an armed robber who attempted to snatch the said car, Wednesday night, and later transformed into the goat in a bid to escape arrest.

He explained that men of a vigilance group in Anifowose Ipata/Oloje areas of the state capital had chased two armed robbery suspects who wanted to demobilise the Mazda car with the intention of stealing it, and

"while one of them escaped, the other was about to be apprehended by the team when he turned his back on the wall and turned to this goat. They quickly grabbed the goat and here it is.’’ Mohammed said.

The police spokesman said the goat "armed robbery suspect" will not be left off the hook untl investigations into the case are concluded.

He also said that no fewer than five stolen vehicles have been recovered by the state Police Command while some suspects were also arrested. Among those arrested, he said was one Idowu Oni of Araromi area of Akure who escaped from Akure Prison.

He added that the escaped convict was arrested in Ilorin after stealing a Mazda 323 car belonging to Mrs. Henrietta Ayijesu.

He also said another armed robbery and rape suspect was in their custody, assuring that the suspects will soon appear in court.

And the Answer Is...

O.K.,  a little quiz on Greek life that I borrowed from The Groovy Greeks (http://www.horrible-histories.co.uk/).  How well can you do?  Answers are on the comments section - no cheating!  There are ten questions in all.

1. Aristotle the great Greek teacher had a favorite meat.  What was it?
   a. camel      b. turkey      c. horse liver 
   
   
2. The great playwright, Aeschylus, is supposed to have died when an eagle flew over his head and dropped something on it.  What did the eagle drop?
   a. a tortoise       b. a hare      c. a stone
   
   
3. As well as the Olympic games there were games in Isthmia.  The winners at the Isthmian games were given a crown as a prize.  What was the crown made of?
   a. celery         b. rhubarb       c. gold
   
   
4. Before clever Aristotle  came along, the Greeks had a strange belief about elephants.  What was it?
   a. an elephant has no knee joints so it goes to sleep leaning against a tree
   b. elephants never forget                c. eating elephant meat makes you strong
   
   
5. Which team sport did the Ancient Greeks enjoy that we still play today?
   a. hockey         b. soccer         c. volleyball
   
   
6. The Greek teacher, gorgeous Gorgias, said that "nothing exists" . . . not even himself.  He nearly didn't.  He had a peculiar birth.  Where was he born?
   a. in his dead mother's coffin        b. on a mountain in a snow storm       c. on board a sinking ship
   
   
7. The Spartan youths tried out their military training by doing what for their town?
   a. becoming secret police and murdering troublemakers
   b. meding roads and keeping the streets clean
   c. becoming servants in old people's homes and cooking for them
   
   
8. How far did the Greek explorer, Pytheas, sail?
   a. Britain and the North Sea       b. Crete in the Mediterranean     c. America and the Atlantic
   
   
9. The Greeks invented a new weapon in the 4th century BC.  They set fire to inflammable liquids then threw them over enemy ships or enemy cities.  What is this weapon called?
   a. Greek fire       b. Zeus' revenge        c. flaming dangerous
   
   
10. A sacred plant was sprinkled on graves.  But we don't consider it sacred today.  What is it?
    a. parsley       b. cabbage      c. garlic

And now, to top things off..

Introducing the Medusa hat, by Oakley.

I don't know what disturbs me most about this hat.  Is it the fact that they didn't include little snake heads?  Is it the mannequin's face?  Or is it the fact that this item is OUT OF STOCK, meaning that whatever the number they made, they sold them all! (no offense to those of you sporting one right now, I'm sure it looks great in person.)

Faeries

The faeries you read today are certainly not your mother's faeries.

Gone are the glory days of Tinkerbell and company.  Today it is not only vampires that get the special treatment.  Many new books are out about faeries as well.  One I enjoyed not too long ago with my son was the The Spiderwick Chronicles.  But it doesn't stop there.  A recent article titled, "Not Your Typical Faerie Princess," posted on Sparknotes (of all places) explored the evolution of the faerie/pixie character in recent book adaptations.  It is pretty good and is at least a good read if you are interested in reading books that might have faerie-ish themes to them.

The picture here is of one that I have not read anything about.  It appears at first glance to be a teenage female-drama fest like Twilight, but I might be wrong.  Would be very interested to hear from anyone of you who have read it.

You can read it here: http://www.sparknotes.com/home/literature/article/not_your_typical_faerie_princess.html

Groovy Greeks

While this book (yes, I know I used the audio cover here, but the book cover is essentially the same) is obviously a kids book, it doesn't shy away from giving good information in a fun to read format.  It is a series called Horrible Histories which includes The Vile Victorians, The Vicious Vikings, The Rotten Romans, and The Angry Aztecs to name a few.  They have a way of making history fun with really corny jokes (as you can see from the cover) - kind of a Monty Python does history sort of thing.  

My son came home with The Groovy Greeks from a school book fair.  He paid 25 cents for it and only picked it because he thought it might have something about mythology in it (yes, he is as geeky as his dad).  It does.  It has a whole chapter about them called The Gruesome Gods and throughout the book it refers to the gods since so much of what the Greeks, I mean the groovy Greeks, did was done because of their belief in the gods.  The back of the book entices you with these questions:

• Want to know why some groovy Greek girls ran around naked pretending to be bears?
• Want to know who had the world's first flushing toilet?
• Want to know why some dedicated doctors tasted their patients' ear wax?

Who wouldn't???  (want to know, that it - not taste ear wax!)

One of my favorite sections is Clytemnestra's diary where she repeatedly refers to Paris as "that nice Paris guy" and Electra and Orestes as an "odd couple."  It also lets you know that in Corinth, you could speak directly to the gods.  At the oracle there was evidently a room underground from which a priest could listen to the request and then yell out the answer which would make it sound as if the gods were speaking.

It is a neat little book that is worth more than just a quarter.  Although in one part it asks if you think your teacher would did a noble death like Socrates, but then adds that "unfortunately" you won't be able to find out since hemlock can't be found in your local pharmacy.  UNFORTUNATELY!  You can see more of what these people are about at their website: http://www.horrible-histories.co.uk/.  

I'll give it 3.5 lightning bolts out of 5 and definitely recommend it if you have kids or teach kids.  Like I said, it is a fun read and full of information.   If I ran across one of the others, I'd probably pick it up ... for the kids of course ...

Psychopompic Chihuahuas

My friend Dani Harper over at Romancing the Wolf in had a great entry on psychopompic Chihuahuas.  Yes, the Taco Bell dog doubles as a soul guide in his off time.  Don't take my word for it, go over to  http://romancingthewolf.blogspot. com/2009/02/all-you-need-is-psychopomp.html to check it out for yourself!

Top Ten Worst Sporting Moments in Mythology

O.K. - Here it is, the top ten WORST moments in mythological sports history:

10. Perseus - Greek - It was prophecied that King Acrisius would be killed by his grandson.  He did all sorts of things to prevent this, including locking his daughter in an inderground room and throwing his daughter and her son into the sea.  Eventually, his grandson, Perseus grew up, became a hero, and was invited to a sporting competition to throw discus.  As great as Perseus was at chopping the head off of sleeping monsters, he was equally bad at throwing the discus.  His throw goes wild and lands int he stands, hitting a foreign dignitary in the head and killing him on site.  The guy?  Well, duh, King Acrisius.

9. Shadow-of-the-Sun -  Native American - In a race of east people versus west people, chief Shadow-of-the-Sun insures that no one will pass him by killing all those he overtakes during the race.  Not to fear, in a stroke of irony, he is beaten by four guys who then kill him and burn his body, thus bringing back all those he killed.

8. Huruing-Wuhti - Native American - In the world's most boring game of catch, these two old ladies throw the sun back and forth every day.  They are so slow, that it takes hours and they spend their time waiting by knitting and making little dolls.

7. Atalanta - Greek - Upon hearing that she would have to marry, the world's fastest woman decided she would trip up fate by declaring she would marry whoever could beat her in a foot race.  Many tried.  All lost.  Until Melanion came along.  See, never underestimate the male mind.  It may not be the quickest mind, but we always come through.  He did, though, by cheating (in a way).  In order to distract her, he threw golden apples.  Some stories say she was just distracted by the bling-bling and others say that she saw herself as an old woman in them.  Whatever the case, she kept stopping to pick them up and lost the race.  She married him, but didn't give in until finally his persistence won her over at a temple of Zeus.  Why Zeus was upset over someone "holding hands" in his temple is beyond me, but he did and turned them into lions, which, as everybody knows, cannot "hold hands."

6. Nanaue - Hawaiian - A.K.A. the Shark Man.  He challenged some guys to a swimming race (at the time, he was in human disguise).  When they got in the water, he turned into his shark form to beat them.  When people saw him, they got all upset and started screaming.  he freaked out and started eating people.  He turned back in the human form and they caught him, tied him up, and decided to cook him.  Just when they got him to the fire, he turned back into a shark, hopped into the closest river, and swam away.

5. Odysseus and Achilles - Greek - At one of the funeral games during the Trojan War, Achilles and Odysseus were in a foot race.  Knowing that he couldn't get up enough speed to pass Achilles before the finish line, Odysseus resorts to praying to Athena.  She doesn't give Odysseus a boost, but rather trips Achilles so that he falls face first into a pile of horse manure. 

4. Apollo and Artemis - Greek - Cheating to win is one thing, but Apollo takes sibling rivalry up to another notch when he decides he does not like Artemis's new boyfriend, Orion.  In one version of this myth, he challenges her to an archery contest and after they shoot at several targets, he points out a speck out in the ocean, knowing that it was Orion taking a swim.  Artemis doesn't realize this and shoots him.  Opps!

3. King Oenomaus - Greek - After hearing that his son-in-law would kill him, King Oenomaus challenges all of his daughter's suitors to a chariot race.  When he defeats them, he seals his deal by chopping their heads off and hanging them on the palace walls.  This doesn't deter Pelops, who takes up the race challenge.  Pelops, however, asked Poseidon for help (there are rumors that he and Poseidon may have been VERY close).  Poseidon, being reminded of "Aphrodite's sweet gifts," gives Pelops a winged horse chariot.  To insure maters more, he had Oenomaus's chariot sabatoged by replacing the bronze linchpins on the axel with ones made of beeswax. Oenomaus survived the wreck, but was pulled to death by his horses.

2. Thor - Norse - After being challenged to a wrestling match, the strongest Norse god was a sure winner, especially considering that the challenger was an old woman.  However, Thor was not only beat til submission once or twice, but three times.  It seems that the old woman went by two names.  One was Elli.  The other?  Old Age.  Oh yeah, Thor then lost his WWE contract...

And FINALLY, the Top WORST Moment in Mythology Sports:

1. Vucub-Caquix - Mayan - Hun-Hunahpu and his sons were playing soccer.  Evidentally they were so loud in their playing that it bothered the underworld, who challenged them to a winner take all battle.  After facing many trials to get to the underworld, the game began.  Vucub-Caquix, playing for Team Underworld, gets away with the most notorious no call ever.  He takes a knife out of his soccer shorts and chops off Hun-Hunahpu's head.  The ploy didn't work, and Hun-Hunahpu and sons win the game anyway.

So what did Saturn say when he saw his dad in the shower?

"I see Uranus!"

O.K., those of you who did think I would resort to potty humor just has not been paying attention to this blog.

I'm knocking out two planets for the price of one here: Uranus and Neptune.  This is because neither one of them were named these names for any particular reason.  More on that in a minute.

First of all, Uranus.

This planet got knocked at some point and spins on its side.  It's other well known feature is that it has rings.  It has 15 known moons, but none of them are named for mythology figures.  Instead, they are all named after Shakespeare or Pope female characters.  Go figure.

The guy who found it wanted to name it Georgium Sidus after King George in an extreme fit of brown nosing.  The problem was that some French guy also claimed to have found it.

Next, Neptune:

It also has rings and a big storm spot.  All of the moons are named after water deities.  This was found purely by math.  In fact this was the problem.  The guy who solved the math problem and the guy who  actually aimed the telescope in the right spot both wanted to name it.  Wouldn't you guess it, one was French and one was English.  Now we have a problem.

Eventually they solve the problem by saying, why not just keep the mythology names?  Both sides agreed and done!  Kind of anti-climatic, if you ask me. 

Don't worry, our space trip gets better again after this.  But first, we'll have another space break and learn what the ten worst moments in mythology sports are.

Lord of the Rings

Excuse the really bad pun (most of mine are - see "Not So Punny").  Saturn, while not the only planet with rings (Jupiter, Uranus, and Neptune do as well), is the best known.  

If you look through a telescope, you'll be impressed - IF you aren't looking to see a spectacular picture like what we see on this page.  No, what Saturn will look like to the naked eye is a yellow star.  With a small scope, you will see a yellow star with "ears" or "handles" (which is how Galileo described it).  With a better scope, you can make out bands on the rings and on the planet some.  

Saturn is the only planet named after a titan.  In fact, Saturn and Uranus are the only two that are named after something other than a god.  Saturn makes sense - the Romans were naming the planets and they liked Saturn.  He was still worshipped and they still had festivals of him.  The Greeks were not so fond of him (Cronus).  

Many of its 60 moons are named after various titans, with it largest one being named (so uncreatively) plain Titan.  However, many are named after other mythology figures and even then, they are not all Roman.  There is even one named after the Norse wolf of destruction, Fenrir.

This is the last originally named planets.  None of the other planets can be seen with the naked eye (sounds kinky), but they have their own issues that we'll get to later.  If you want to see Saturn like the ancients did, you need to go out about 10:30 tonight and look East-Southeast (for those of you that are directionally challenged, look toward the area the sun rises and turn slightly to the right).  It should be there, nice and yellow for you to find.  If you are an early riser, you can see it at around 5:00 in the morning as it dips into the west.  Saturn is not as close as it could be and so may not be as bright as it can be, but should still be seeable.  These directions are for those in the Northern Hemisphere.  For those of us that are south of the equator, I'm sorry, but I can't find my guide for your sky right now.  The best way to find it would be to find the constellation Leo if it is viewable for you tonight.  Saturn is just below it.

Next time - We learn the answer to the age old question, what did Saturn say when he saw his dad in the shower?