Repost: Up on the House Top Sleipnir Hooves...

This post was originally posted in 2008, but I felt it was time to show it again.  

Other titles for this blog could have been "Here Comes Odin Right Down Odin Lane!"

That's right.  It is that time of year again and time to get ready for Odin coming and giving presents and such.  Yes, I have probably lost it long ago, but no I'm not like Linus believing in the Great Pumpkin (well, maybe a little).  No, I'm referring to Odin's big Yule hunting party.

During Yule, Odin leads a large hunting party through the sky on his great eight-legged horse Sleipnir (a great story about Sleipnir's birth involves Loki, a randy horse, and the rest can wait for another time).  

Now Sleipnir can't fly (silly - only reindeer), but he can leap great distances (like the Hulk).  Children 

would leave their boots near the chimney.  They filled it with carrots, straw, and sugar so that Sleipnir would be able to eat.  Odin, touched by the children's kindness, would fill up the children's boots with sweets and gifts.

Happy Yule!

Thor, Percy Jackson Style

According to a news article I saw today, it seems that Rick Riordan is satisfied with writing in the Greek, The Egyptian, and the Roman pantheons.  Evidently he plans to take on the Norse gods as well.  According to the article, he had planned to write this before he ever wrote Percy Jackson.

I think this is good news.  I enjoyed reading his Olympians series.  I'm having a hard time getting into the Kane series (the Egyptian ones), and my son is dying to go out and buy the new Son of Neptune book.  I also think that mythology teachers can expect a boon of students signing up for these classes when these kids reach high school.  All in all, these books are great for mythology.

Don't hold your breath, though.  While he has already signed a deal with Disney Publishing Worldwide, the books aren't expected to come out until 2015.

One quote from the article that was interesting was an answer to a kid who asked him if he had seen the Percy Jackson movie.  His response?  Classic teacher: Nope.  "The images from the book you make in your head are always going to be the best images."

You can read the whole article here: http://www.businessweek.com/ap/financialnews/D9Q4R1180.htm

Thor Images

In honor of the new Thor movie, I've put together a list of Thor images for you.  Enjoy!  I haven't seen the movie yet.  I would appreciate any comments on your thoughts of the movie (should I waste my money on it) and any comments on which pic you like best.

*Update* I saw the movie this weekend.  I was pleased both as a comic book fan and mythology fan.  Obviously the movie is focused more on the comic book version, but I felt that overall, the story remained at least as accurate to Norse mythology than, say, Clash of the Titans did to Greek mythology.  So if you're looking for a pretty good mythology movie, this will work.  I still would like your opinions below.

From Marvel Comics (link)

(link)

Thinking is not one of Thor's strengthes.  Also, doesn't this look like the end of the Conan movies?  "...and he wore his crown upon a troubled brow."  They seriously need to make another Conan movie.  Just my opinion. *Update* At the Thor movie, there was a preview for a new Conan movie.  Judging from the preview, I probably should take my suggestion back.

(link)

One would think that a Norse god would probably wear more, but who am I to judge?
(link)

  

Bet we won't see his goat chariot int he movie.  It's hard to make goat chariots look cool, but Thor pulls it off somehow.

Simpsons Thor

(link)

And last, but not least...

Frog Thor from the Pet Avengers! (I'm not lying, there really is a Pet Avengers out there - Mrs. Lyons from the old Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends is in it, no less - please don't ask me how I know this)

(link)

~

Survivor Ragnarok: The Aftermath

We had originally planned for a live reunion show to re-live the more famous Survivor moments, but as all but one of our contestant is unable to make it due to death, we'll just have to improvise.  We'll take you now to the battlefield to hopefully gauge the reaction of the man on the street.  Assuming we can find any who are still outside and alive, that is. 

The title matches are done, but battles continue to be waged.  Minor gods still fight giants, Valhalla warriors still fight creatures of Hel.  The Ultimate Survivor, Surt, continues to wave his fiery sword.  The forces of evil have the upper hand and the forces of good are struggling.  Every last one of them preferring to go down fighting rather than to surrender.

Surt's sword gets fierier and fierier and soon the whole battlefield is engulfed in flames.  Forces of good and evil alike are consumed in flames.  The fires spread out of control and the nine worlds burn.  Pretty much everyone who survived the initial battle is dead.

Now we pause for a word from our sponsors:

Welcome back.  Where were we?  Oh yeah, the worlds burn.  Practically everyone dies.  We're not sure, but we fear the worst for poor Ratatosk.  To make matters worse, the earth sinks into the sea.

After sometime, a new earth, one with plenty of resources rises from the sea.  This new world isn't dark because the sun, right before being swallowed, conveniently  gives birth.  That was smart.

Some gods survive and make it to the new earth.  We have Vili (Odin's brother), Vidar and Vali (two of Odin's sons), Modi and Magni (Thor's sons).  They inherit their father's hammer.  Hoenir (one of the gods who helped Odin make man) also survives.  He was known to be indecisive; however, none of us at Bubo's Blog feels confident enough to ask him if he survived the battle by not participating.  Balder and Hod return and take up residence in Valhalla.   We could not see if any goddesses survived, although there is hope for Frigg and Freyja.

Yggdrasil, the world tree, survived the fire.  Two humans were smart enough to have hid in its branches.  Their names are Lif and Lifthrasir.  They will be needed to repopulate the earth. Since none of the forces of evil survived, there will no longer be pain and misery in this new earth (hopefully there will be no forbidden fruit trees to screw things up).

The gods that survived vow to live side by side with man (maybe because no goddesses survived and they're lonely?).  Since the afterlife seemed to be only a means to fight the final battle, there is no need for it anymore.  Now when people die, Nidhogg, the dragon, will take a break from chomping on the roots of Yggdrasil and drink the blood of the dead.  Hmmm.  Well, I guess it could be worse.

So there you go.  The end of time Norse style.  If you missed any of these posts, you can read them all here.  As for the details, our lawyers here at Bubo's  Blog is making us include some fine print.

The outcomes in Ragnarok are as reported here in Survivor: Ragnarok.  The details of each battle are somewhat made up.  No details could be found for each battle so in the interest of artistic license, a little fluff was added.  Survivor is trademarked by CBS and a great TV show.

So, let me know what you thought of the series.  More like it or more individual posts?  More story like posts or regular posts.  I don't know unless I hear from you.  LEAVE A COMMENT!  :)

Ragnarok: Heimdall vs. Loki

And now, for the long awaited for Title Match of the Night...

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages, it is time for the heavy weight championship of the worrrrlllllllddddddddd!

LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

When the earthquakes ravaged the lands, Loki was set free from his confinement.  His head ached and there was a hole in the forehead from where the poison dripped.  His wife came running to his side, but he cast her to the ground.  There will be time enough for love and for paying her back for spending hundreds of years trying to capture the poison later after taking his revenge upon the gods.  The only question now is which god should he kill first?  He sees the hosts of Hel gathering and he leads them to Asgard where his giant kinsmen await for battle.

Heimdall did not need his super hearing nor his super sight to see the coming of the forces of evil.  He sounds his horn and he too doesn't hesitate to say goodbye to his love, but instead races out to lead the gods into battle.

The battle lines are drawn.  Heimdall surveys the area.  All around him are battles between the warriors of Valhalla and the residents of Hel.  Giants are fighting lesser gods.  Far off he sees Odin and Freyr and Tyr and Garm doing battle.  Freyr and Surt are just off to his right.  While nobody knows what became of Thor, Heimdall sees him battling Jormungand as clearly as if he were next to him.  But where was Loki?  Heimdall must find out.

"Help me..."  It was just a whisper, but it was enough for Heimdall to hear it, even above the din of battle.  To his left, about 25 yards away, one of the Einherjar was about to be cleaved in half by a particularly nasty looking frost giant.  (To be honest, all are nasty looking, but this one was so much so that even his mother hid her face in shame).  Heimdall hesitated not a moment and leaped half the distance.  Yelling, he distracted the giant just enough to close the distance.  The giant forgot his prey and turned to meet a more promising battle.  Heimdall, however, was not looking for a long fight and instead decapitated the giant in one blow.  Heimdall took a deep breath and turned to face the fallen warrior.  It was at this time he heard the sound.  It was a sound much like the bending of a blade of grass, only with a bit more twang to it.  Heimdall had heard that sound before many times.  In fact, he was the only one who could hear it.  It was the sound of Loki shape-shifting.  However, the race to battle and the exertion of the beheading had slowed Heimdall enough to make hearing the sound not enough warning.

The fallen warrior of Valhalla morphed into the trickster himself.  His sword blade swung and cut into the back of Heimdall's left knee, dropping the mighty god to one knee.  Loki smiled.  He wanted Thor first, but since Thor was nowhere to be seen, Heimdall would make a good first sacrifice.  "Already bowing before me?  Well, I should take that into consideration, but I think I slay you anyway."  With that, he swung his sword quickly toward Heimdall's neck.  

Without looking, Heimdall slapped his hands flat against Loki's blade, stopping its motion abruptly.  With a jerk, he dislodged it easily from Loki's grip and threw the hilt at Loki's stomach.  As Loki doubled over, Heimdall said, "There you are, three eyes."

Loki's finger went directly to the spot on his forehead.  With a sneer, he spat, "Made a joke?  Since when have you ever had a sense of humor?  You know it reminds me of..."

But of what we'll never know as Heimdall took this moment to swing at Loki's head.  With lightning speed, Loki transformed into a ram and as the sword swung by, he rammed his horned head into the god's stomach.  The armor took most of the blow, but still it knocked the breath out of him.  Heimdall grabbed the right horn and twisted the ram's head with the intent of snapping its neck, but just as quickly as before, he heard the tell-tale sign and the ram became a large eagle and flew away.

Heimdall shouted, "Come back here you coward!"  Soon the eagle dipped low and was lost to Heimdall's sight.

The battle continued to rage all around.  Heimdall continued to slay one giant after another.  Finally he stood with two warriors, panting and weary.  Heimdall heard Thor's hammer from afar and was only mildly startled by the massive blast that swept the battlefield.  His two comrades, however, were completely taken aback.  It was this moment that Heimdall noticed that one of the warriors had a wound on his forehead, right about the spot of Loki's mark.  With no hesitation, he cleaved the trickster in two.

"Your tricks are at an end, rabbit-sucker!"  Then he heard the sound.

Behind Heimdall, the other warrior transformed into a large snake and struck, biting deep into Heimdall's exposed cheek.  The god sank to his knees, grabbed the serpent by the throat, and squeezed.  The result was more poison being injected into his body and the snake's neck snapping in half.  Heimdall fell, not quite getting the satisfaction of seeing the snake transform back into a broken, dead Loki.


   TIE!


Good Guys: 3


Bad Guys: 5


Who is the last man standing and winner of Survivor: Ragnarok?

SURT

Next - The Post-Game Show


Read all the Survivor: Ragnarok posts

      

Survivor - Ragnarok: Tyr vs. Garm

PROUDLY PRESENTS

Based on voting, odds are 10 to 1 in Garm's favor.  Last chance to place your bets...

At the gate of Hel, Garm paced back and forth as much as his chain allowed him.  His fur coat was covered with the blood of those foolish enough to try to enter or leave Hel without permission.  Suddenly the ground shook beneath his feet.  Being a dog, even one as large and mighty as he was, he had no clue as to the impact of this shaking or what was to come.  All he knew was that he felt an urge to kill unlike any he had ever felt in his life.  The urge manifested itself in the form of a mighty howl that actually shattered his chain.  Then the inhabitants of Hel began to come forward.  Garm didn't know what this meant, he just knew that he wanted to kill and here are victims.  Hel's guardian (also called Hel) stepped forward and with a few soft words (soft for Hel, that is), she redirected his blood lust toward the gods.

Tyr's stump ached.  It had during the last three winters something fierce, but today's ache was different.  It was a warning that the end was near.  Before the roosters crowed, even before Heimdall heard the coming battle, Tyr began his war preparations.  On his way out of Asgard with the other gods, Heimdall tells him that he heard a howl of rage like none other.  He wasn't sure, but the fierceness of it seemed as if it came from Fenrir.  "Time for pay back," muttered Tyr, absentmindedly rubbing the stump of his right arm.

Once on the battlefield, Tyr began to survey the skirmishes.  On the far side he found Odin and Fenrir locked in a deadly embrace.  Despite knowing that Odin would not appreciate help, Tyr ran toward them to intervene.  The canine was his to kill, not Odin's.  He owed the wolf for the loss of his right hand.  Sword drawn and focused on the impending battle, Tyr was almost instantly killed when the second largest canine in history leaped toward his head.  Barely getting the shield up in time, Tyr had to check his focus and turn it towards Garm instead.

The dog growled and leaped, this time, Tyr was completely ready and attacked with his sword.  Still not used to being left-handed, his sword arc only sliced off the tail of the great beast.  Garm sounded a pitiful howl and now knew to be wary of the thing in the god's hands.  Never before had anything fought against Garm.  This strange new sensation only heightened the bloodlust and the dog attacked again, this time dodging the sword and clearing the shield enough to get his mouth on Tyr's head.  Tyr pushed back with all his might and slammed the dog into a tree nearby, causing the massive oak to fall.  The dog lay stunned in the snow, back not broken, but close.  Tyr stood, but with difficulty.  He had pushed the dog away, but not before it bit a chunk out of the side of his face.  Tyr's left ear was completely gone and blood flowed freely down his armor. 

Tyr regained his balance and hefted his sword for the killing blow.  Garm began to stir, but it was evident that it would be too late.  Just before the killing stroke, Tyr saw out of the corner of his eye a giant about to decapitate one of the Einherjar.  Without a moment's hesitation, Tyr threw his sword at the giant, saving the brave warrior.

Garm, however, was now fully recovered and grabbed the shield with his teeth.  Under other circumstances, this game of tug-of-war may have seemed comical, but Tyr's very life hung in the balance.  The shield, which had been strapped so tightly, began to slid off the arm and Garm fell backward with the shield at the same moment the lightning struck with such ferocity.  Both Tyr and Garm glanced in that direction, but quickly resumed the battle.  Garm, no longer needing to be wary of the sword or the shield, ran straight for Tyr and his mighty jaws clamped down on Tyr's throat.  Tyr staggered backwards, but kept his wits about him.  He could feel the throat crushing and knew he had little time.  He glanced and saw the stump of the oak that had fallen earlier.  The stump had very jagged edges where the tree had splintered.  With all the might he had left, he picked the dog up and threw him down upon the stump.  The force of the throw combined with the strength of his jaws caused Garm to completely rip out the throat of The Brave One.  Tyr had one vision before fading to black, and that was the glorious sight of Garm impaled on the oak.

Judge's Ruling -  TIE!

The Bad Guys: 4

The Good Guys: 2

The next fight is for the title, folks.  Heimdall the hearer of growing grass vs. Loki, the shape shifter that once got pregnant when in the form of a female horse. . . come to think of it, I could have probably picked better introductions for these two mighty warriors...

Anyway, come back to witness the final fight and then we'll find out what happens next.

WHO WILL BE THE ULTIMATE SURVIVOR?

See all the Ragnarok posts.  Just scroll down to the bottom to start reading if you want to read them in order.

~

Ragnarok: Freyr vs. Surt

Technical difficulties were experienced after Thor's lightning strike.  We over here at Bubo's Blog have been drifting through time much like the cast aways in Lost.  However, things are back to normal and though it has seemed like a week since the last Ragnarok post, for us here, it has been about 5 years.

Now, without further ado, we present tonight's fight:

Surt is patient - especially for a giant.  He knows the time will come for him to bring death and destruction upon Midgard and Asgard.  He does not know when.  He does not know for what reason, other than the obvious pleasure of watching mortals die.  He doesn't know much of anything, really.  I mean, after all, he is a giant.  However, he knows enough to wait.  And wait he has for centuries.  Now the cock has crowed and the forces of the giants and Hel have combined to finally put an end to the gods.  He looks forward to the day he can sit back and enjoy life in the finer parts of the world.  Maybe even sit in Odin's throne.  He can taste to roasted raven now.  His sword is made of solid flame and he knows that there is only one sword in existence that can match it.  Freyr's self-fighting sword.  He saw that sword the day Skirnir, Freyr's servant, brought it into his lands and threatened to use it against the giants unless Gerd, the pretty giantess, agreed to marry his master.  He's thought of that weapon ever since and has always wanted to see which weapon was the stronger.  Surt smiles.  Killing the weak will have to wait.  For now, he must seek out the one sword he fears.

Freyr's mother-in-law is a giant, so he has no problems at all with the upcoming battle.  He kisses his dear Gerd goodbye and rides out to the battle field on his chariot. Once there, he releases the mighty boar that pulls the chariot.  For a moment he watches Gullinbursti's glowing mane as the beast tears into the enemy and the he too jumps into the fray.  He makes short work of many giants and the warriors of Valhalla fight even stronger when they see him by their side.  Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Tyr and Garm already locked in battle and briefly wonders where Thor has run of to.  Before he can act, however, he hears his name bellowed out over the field.  Surt, king of the giants, has challenged him to battle.  Nobody even seems to notice these two mighty warriors squaring off as the battles continue to be waged.

"Where is the sword?"  Surt demanded.

Freyr realizes that this is why Surt has chosen him for battle.  Skirnir has had the sword ever since the mission to get his wife, but Freyr fears that the servant will not be able to match Surt, should Surt come after him.  "The sword is broken," the god lied.  "I do not need one to take on the likes of you giants.  Have you not heard of the way I killed your friend Beli with an antler?  But never fear, I have another sword and it is sharp and will take care of the likes of you."

The giant grumbled.  Then there is no other need for me to worry.  You are nothing.  With that, he raised his fire sword high and came down for the killing blow.  Freyr, however, was not ready to die and managed to block this blow with his sword, though he could feel the sword shake under the pressure and knew that it was no match.  He knew he would have to end this battle quickly if he wanted to survive.  Thinking fast, he whistled for his boar and then jumped to avoid another strike from the fire sword.  The flames on the sword were starting to get bigger and hotter and his shoes smoked from the heat.

Surt's eyes glazed over as blood lust began to take control.  "I can do this all day, but you'll soon get tired.  Die now and I will only make your death agonizing and not excruciating!"  For those of you viewing at home, you will no doubt be impressed by the depth of Surt's vocabulary.  Now you know why he's king.  However, before Freyr could even consider this sweetheart of a deal, the grunt of the glowing boar interrupted the giant's speech.  As Surt skewered the pig with the flaming sword (thus cooking it at the same time), Freyr picked up a shattered shield and threw the point of it right into Surt's eye, killing him.

Well, that was supposed to be what happened.  Instead, the shield (which is a clumsy object to throw unless you are skilled in shield throwing like Captain America) bounced off the side of Surt's head.  Surt, furious at this insult to his battle prowess, chopped down with a speed and fury unlike any other and sliced Freyr in half.  At this killing, the flames on the sword began to burn brighter and hotter than ever.  Even Surt could feel the heat blistering his gloved hand.  It did not stop him, though.  At this point Surt goes into a beserker rage and begins to tromp through the battlefield, burning all with his wild sword strokes.

The Winner -  SURT!

The Bad Guys: 3

The Good Guys: 1

Next up, Tyr must stop the second deadliest canine in all of existence - and he must do it short handed (ha!  get it?)  Oh well.  None of you voted for poor Tyr to win.  Can he overcome the odds?  We'll find out next time on SURVIVOR RAGNAROK!

See all the Ragnarok posts.  Just scroll down to the bottom to start reading if you want to read them in order.

~

Norse Mythology vs. Science

Sorry I haven't posted in a while.  I really want to get this next post up soon, only life keeps getting in my way.  On the positive note, I now know what an air handler is, what a capacitor does, and (unfortunately) the cost of a new blower motor for said air handler.   *sigh*    Donations can be sent to . . .

Anyway, I'm posting this oldie but goodie rerun to tide you over until the next Survivor: Ragnarok fight.  Enjoy!  If you can't see it well, try checking it out at http://www.thepaincomics.com/.

Thor vs. Jormungand

PRESENTS

Thor, growing weary of fighting giants, goes after his true foe - the world serpent Jormungand.  He has longed for this day his entire existence.  Time and time again the worm has slipped through his grasp, but no more.  This is the war to end all wars.  The time has come for him to seek out Jormungand one last time.  After scanning the battlefield, he saw the snake was no where to be found.  Finally, he notices that the fiend is attacking a beach village nearby.  As he ran past the hordes of bleeding and dying men all around him, he could not help but smile and think of what a glorious day this day was!

Jormungand was finally free of his confines in the ocean.  He doesn't know what is different.  He doesn't care.  It feels good to release destruction without fear.  All he knows is that his time has come to bring death to the world and that for the first time ever, he feels truly indestructible.  There will be no running away from that hideous thunder god any more.  Sinking ships quickly becomes boring and he approaches land.  Feeling the poisonous gasses in his stomach churning, he belches his venom upon the beach village and laughs with a hissy laugh as the people's very skin bubbles off of them in their death throes.  The land, even the very air around him, are stained with his baleful breath.  Such power as he never felt before.  What a great day!

Thor yells a battle cry that no one completely makes out.  Only one being would dare stand up to this god in his beserker rage.  Jormungand sees him running and turns, readying his pernicious gas for his most welcomed enemy.  Thor, however, is faster than usual.  In his rage, he moves like the very lightning he commands.  The god leaps and, using both arms, swings Mjolnir downward and hits the beast's black heart.  Thunder rumbles like it never has before, or ever will again. The only two beings who do not pause at the might of the thunder are Odin and Fenrir, locked in their deadly embrace.

Jormungand staggers, his serpentine next swinging from side to side trying to get balance, and then falls.  As his head hits the ground, toxic vomit spews forth, soaking the Asgardian warrior.  Thor, at first laughs, reveling in the thrill of battle.  This wasn't the first time he emerged victorious from battle covered in gore.  But then a strange thing happens.  Thor's leg begins to twitch and then seizes up.  His arms begin to convulse.  He falls to the ground.  As his eyes grow dim, he looks one last time to make sure his foe paid the price first.  Then he grabs Mjolnir with the last bit of energy he can muster.  He doesn't know what will come next as he enters death, but he knows he may just need his hammer.


The ruling... TIE!




Bad Guys - 2

Good Guys - 1


Next up - Freyr vs. Surt Who will be the ultimate Survivor?

See all the Ragnarok posts.  Just scroll down to the bottom to start reading if you want to read them in order.

~

Odin vs. Fenrir

 Presents

Odin sends his ravens off to the battle field in search for which of his warriors is in need of assistance.  They have trained night and day for centuries for this very battle and the skill with which they fight makes him proud.  Seeing some Valkyries fly off to the right, Odin heads left...and shivers.  There he sees his foe, unawares.  A moment's hesitation is all it takes for Odin to decide on his tactic.  The All Father already knows the outcome of the battle.  Now all that is left is to decide how it will happen.

Fenrir prowls the field and delights in ripping into the flesh of the Einherjar.  These souls are merely a warm up as he looks for the treacherous Tyr.  The hand of Tyr he swallowed centuries ago can still be tasted, and he wants more.  Fenrir shrugs off a few arrows and sword thrusts, for his fur coat is thick enough to serve as armor and is about to snap his jaws on yet another one of Valhalla's brave warriors, when he feels the smack of a battle axe swung with such force it can only be a god.  Tyr, perhaps?  The wolf smiles and turns to face the one-eyed Odin.  He doesn't have time to register the feeling in his stomach - is it anticipation or fear - before the two lock themselves in combat.

For hours these two rage.  During the battle, thunder hits so hard, that the two combatants shake with the force of it, but neither one noticed nor cared.  Odin's axe hurts, but does not do serious damage.  Fenrir's teeth can't seem to crack the god's mighty armor.  Wherever they go, both giant and Einherjar alike stop battle and watch.  News of the battle reaches the far side of the field where Vidar, Odin's son, has been searching for Fenrir.  Vidar has been preparing for this battle all his life by creating the ultimate shoes, ones he created by taking the scraps of leather left over when mortals make their shoes.  As a result, the sole of his shoes are thicker and stronger than plate mail armor.  If only he can get to the battle in time, but the shoes are slow going.

The battle appears to be a stalemate until finally Fenrir, in a streak of brilliance, enacts a new tactic and swallows Odin whole.  He barely has time to finish swallowing before he hears the shout of Vidar across the field.  He turns and decides to try the same strategy.  Just as he opens his mouth wide, Vidar slams his foot down on Fenrir's bottom jaw.  The fangs tear into the leather and stick, doing no damage to Vidar's foot.  Vidar then took his hands and grabbed Fenrir's top jaw.  With a mighty thrust, he rips Fenrir's jaws apart.  A mighty victory, but one too late.

The ruling...  Fenrir!

Bad Guys - 1

Good Guys - 0





Things aren't looking so good for our predictions.  Most people voted for Odin to win.  Go grab some popcorn, 'cause this war has just started.  Next up on our fight card... Thor vs. Jormungand.  At the moment, Jormungand is the favored, but Thor just doesn't care.

Who will be the ultimate survivor?  Stay tuned my friends.

See all the Ragnarok posts.  Just scroll down to the bottom to start reading if you want to read them in order.

~



Here They Come to Save the Day!

The Final Pre-Game Post

The bad guys have amassed.  So what are the good guys doing?  Sitting around sorting socks?  Perish forbid!  They too are getting ready.  However, their preparations are not as snazzy as the bad guys. 

The gods have stationed at Bifrost (the Rainbow Bridge that connects Asgard with the rest of the worlds) the one, the only - Heimdall!  Heimdall not only has golden teeth (assumingly the metal and not just the color) but he also has heightened senses so much so that he can see up to a 100 leagues away and can hear grass growing.  For comparison, the longest distance recorded being seen was in a report by Korzenewsky in 1923 who saw some mountain peaks at 750 kilometers (466 and change miles) (more on this at: http://mintaka.sdsu.edu/GF/explain/atmos_refr/horizon.html).  In case you are wondering how that stacks up against a god, well, 100 leagues is roughly 326 miles.  However, Korzenewsky had perfect conditions and Heimdall is said to be able to do this night or day.  As far as grass growing, I could not find a recording of it on the Internet, but I did read someone on a forum somewhere say they could hear grass growing and that it has a distinct hissing sound.  Personally, I think that person may be a bit loony, but I'm not ready to rule out the possibility that grass does make a sound while growing.  It would be interesting to know if anyone out there can shed any light on this. 

Anyway, Heimdall blows his horn to warn the gods.  I'm not so sure they really needed Heimdall for this job.  If you read the previous post, the bad guys weren't really acting all ninja-stealth.  Who answers his call?  All the gods and the warriors in Valhalla.  The warriors in Valhalla are the dead who died courageously in battle.  They have been preparing for this battle ever since death by fighting the other Valhalla inhabitant, getting drunk, and passing out.  The next day, they all rise (even those who died in the previous day training) and do it again.

They all meet on the plain of Vigrid ("battle shaker") where the last battle will be fought.  Vigrid is a flat space of land that stretches 100 leagues in every direction (good for Heimdall...). 

I looked up Vigrid on Google Maps and they couldn't find it, but it did point me toward South America.  I did a Wikipedia search and found an organization that believes in Odin as creator of the universe and also says that all non-Aryan races are the cause for all bad things on earth.  Neither really helped me figure out where this battle will take place.

At this point Yggdrasil (the world tree) shakes (no mention if Ratatosk falls out) and the battles begin!


Next post - It's on!  Odin vs. Fenrir in a cage match of death!  Two men enter, Two gods enter, One god and one really big wolf enter but only one can leave!

See all the Ragnarok posts.  Just scroll down to the bottom to start reading if you want to read them in order.

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Bring on the Bad Guys!

The earthquakes have rumbled.  The chains have been broken.  Everyone has cursed the green movement.  The roosters have crowed.  It's time!

Those still left by the sea notice the oceans begin to swirl.  Jormungand, the Midgard Serpent, twists in fury and makes his way toward land. Those unfortunate enough to witness this rare event will soon die a horrifying death as Jormungand breaths on the land.  The ground is stained by his poisonous breath.  The sky is stained by it as well.  There is just not enough Scope, Listerine, or Orbitz gum left in the world to clean that dirty mouth! 

As he continues to churn the waves, the ship Naglfar gets loose.  This is no S. S. Minnow.  This ship is made from the fingernails of dead men.  The giants quickly board this boat and sail towards the battlefield. 

A second ship sets sail from Hel (that's right, H E single hockey stick) carrying all it's inhabitants with Loki as their leader.  Who are the inhabitants of Hel?  Well, if you die bravely in battle, you go to Valhalla (or get picked up by Freya and taken to her love palace).  If you drown, you get taken to Ran's palace under the sea.  everyone else, which pretty much includes those unfortunate to get sick, the cowardly, and the evil go to Hel.  And now, they ride with Loki.

Surt, a giant with one big fiery sword, leads the fire giants into battle against the gods.  The sword he carries is so big and fiery that is scorches the earth, killing most of those who survived the winter, survived the darkness, survived the crazy immorality, and survived Jormungand's halitosis.

The weight of all these giants causes the rainbow bridge (Bifrost) to shatter!


So now, the good guys must answer the call - or find good hiding places!  Time to vote is running out!  Who will be the ultimate survivor?

See all the Ragnarok posts.  Just scroll down to the bottom to start reading if you want to read them in order.

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Fimbulvetr

With Fenrir locked up, things go on as normal.  Loki too gets locked up for killing Baldur, the beautiful god.  While he's stuck in a cave with a snake dripping acid-like venom on his head, Fenrir strains against his ribbon chain.  These actions are to no avail since neither creature will be free until the end.  The end starts with Fimbulvetr.

Fimbulvetr is the winter of all winters.  Actually it is three winters.  The harshest of all winters and they are so harsh that spring, summer, and fall all get skipped so that they can happen back to back (to back).   Families will begin to go crazy and fight among each other.  All morality disappears as people, desperate to stop shoveling snow, resort to all sorts of depravity.  This is why we should NOT listen to Al Gore.  Global warming will keep this harsh winter from occurring and will save all of us. That is why I have my SUV outside running and pumping as much carbon dioxide into the air as possible.

Once this happens, the end begins to speed up.  Skoll, a great wolf (not as great as Fenrir, but this wolf makes the wolf from the three little pigs look weak) will eat the sun.  His brother, Hati, will eat the moon, plunging us into some pretty heavy darkness.  On top of that, the stars will vanish (no mention of any wolf eating them).

The humans that survived Fimbulvetr, will shutter when they hear the dreaded three cock crows.  One, named Fjalar, will crow to alert the giants.  Gullinkambui, the golden cock, will crow to alert the gods.  The cock will crow to raise the dead.

This pre-game show to the end of times ends with massive earthquakes.  These earthquakes will not only kill many humans left, but will break all things tied or secured.  ALL THINGS.  That means Loki and Fenrir will be free to play, and they aren't having good thoughts towards the gods at the moment.

Things are about to get ugly...  Place your bets by voting on the side for the gods you think will win.  At the time of this posting, no one believes in Tyr.  Only one believes Odin has what it takes.  Who do you think will win?

See all the Ragnarok posts.  Just scroll down to the bottom to start reading if you want to read them in order.

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Survivor Ragnarok: It Begins...

In order to talk about the end of the world, we first need to go back to the past.  You see, when two divine beings love each other very much . . . um . . . well, let's just say that Loki and a giantess held hands and the resulting baby was a wolf.  Don't ask me how that happened, let's just say that the reproduction unit in health class is a lot easier now than it used to be.

Anyway, they called the baby puppy Fenrir and it was love and adored by all the gods.  O.K., it was at least tolerated.  It didn't bark too much and the Norse aren't too picky about a potty trained dog.  Once they learned that the wolf would be the end of world, Tyr, the bravest of the gods, locked him up in a cage.  Only Tyr would feed Fenrir everyday. 

The pup continued to grow and it soon became apparent that the cage would no longer hold him.  So, they decided to chain him up.  Knowing that the wolf would put up a fight, they decided to trick him:

  "Hey dog!"
  Woof bark bark.*   "That's wolf." (translated for you slackers that haven't studied Norse wolf)
  "Right.  You look pretty weak.  I bet you couldn't break a simple chain."
  Growl growl woof bark.*   "I can break anything you can make."
  "Yeah, right.  You know, forget it.  It wouldn't even be worth the time make a chain."
  Grrr growl woof!*  "That's because you know I can break it!"

It's not really that hard to talk a Norse monster wolf into doing something stupid.  They bring out this incredibly huge chain and shackle it around his neck.  With ease, Fenrir snaps it.  Dejected, the gods go to the dwarves and explain the problem.  For a small fee, the dwarves create the unbreakable chain.  The dwarves used some strange ingredients (the footstep of a cat, the roots of a mountain, a woman's beard, the breath of fishes, the sinews of a bear, and bird's spit) and created a thin ribbon they named Gleipnir.

This time they try the same approach.  Fenrir, however, is suspicious since they tried a huge last time and now they have a small thin ribbon.  Fenrir figures that they are either very stupid gods or it is a not so crafty trick.  Remember, he may be a wolf, but he is the son of the trickster figure of all trickster figures.  So he makes a deal.  He will allow them to put the ribbon around his neck IF one of the gods will put his hand in Fenrir's mouth while they tie him up.  Since all the gods know that once Fenrir realizes he can't break it that he will bite off the hand, no one volunteers.  Well, no one but Tyr, the bravest of the gods.  Tyr is not only a war god, but old myths have him as being top god once (before Odin takes over).  He also was the god assigned to feed Fenrir since the others were too scared.  Tyr willingly puts his hand in Fenrir's mouth and once Fenrir realizes he's been duped, he bites off the hand (that fed him!).

They then anchor the ribbon deep under ground and stack a huge rock on top of it.  When Fenrir tried to bite some more gods, they took a sword and shoved it in his mouth to keep him from biting down.  Fenrir now has nothing to do but to bide his time and wait for his release, which is predicted to occur at the end of time.


So the seeds for Ragnarok begin, but it is far from over.  Next time we see what Al Gore and Ragnarok have to with each other.  Until then!

Don't forget to vote for which god(s) you think will win their battle.

See all the Ragnarok posts.  Just scroll down to the bottom to start reading if you want to read them in order.

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Survivor - Ragnarok Edition

With 2012 quickly approaching, we here at Bubo's Blog have decided to focus on the end of times.  But what do a bunch of Mayans know?  The Norse have it down pat.  They know exactly how the end arrives - and they are preparing for it.  There are several battles that happen in Ragnarok and we are going to detail each one for you.  So while the posts start coming in, you will need to decide who will win and who will lose by choosing the gods on the poll to the side that will be beat their foes.  Here is the fight card:

ODIN   vs.    FENRIR

Odin - One-eyed head god that keeps all the Norse gods under control

Fenrir - Monster wolf who already bit one god's hand off as a pre-fight snack

THOR   vs.   JORMUNGAND

Thor - Warrior god of thunder, uses magical hammer and is the strongest of the gods

Jormungand - Monster snake also known as the world serpent, so big he circles the globe

FREYR   vs.   SURT

Freyr - This important farming god has a magical sword that fights on its own

Surt - An angry giant who has a sword of fire

TYR     vs.    GARM

Tyr - War god and bravest of the gods - he lost his hand to Fenrir early

Garm - Monster dog, second canine only Fenrir

Final Title Match!

HEIMDALL    VS.     LOKI

Heimdall -  Watchman of Asgard, has senses so precise, he can hear grass growing

Loki - Shapeshifting trickster figure, grew up with the gods, but has betrayed them now

O.K, now it is up to you.  In the next few posts, we will lead up to Ragnarok, then each fight will be detailed out in their own post.  You pick which god you think will win.  I will say this, not all gods win, not all gods lose.  So go ahead and take a stand!  Who will be the ultimate Survivor?

See all the Ragnarok posts.  Just scroll down to the bottom to start reading if you want to read them in order.

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More Norse Gods

Apparently, Thor is not the only god making an on screen debut.  I ran across this review of Supernatural Season 5 Volume 2.

"Odin, Loki and Baldur are among a group of gods who demon-slaying brothers Sam and Dean Winchester encounter as they race to stop the end of the world.



Loki is another guise of the archangel Gabriel, while Kali, Ganesh, Mercury, Zao Shen and Baron Samedi are also in the mythological group who find themselves up against Lucifer himself as they try to prevent Apocalypse."

All this and a demonic Paris Hilton too.  Now it sounds like my kind of show, but as I am right now trying to get through Lost on Netflicks, I am wary about dragging myself into another convoluted show and with this season DVD being released in volumes, well, I would say that this qualifies as a convoluted program. 

Curious, anyone watch this show?  Is it worth putting in the time just to get to see some Norse gods kicking Lucifer's butt?

Thor Movie

Well, the last time I addressed this it was for some cartoon version that looked like it would stink.  This is a live action version that focuses on Thor as a Marvel comics superhero.  Don't expect to see Spider-Man or the X-Men in this movie (although it is likely that Iron Man might make a cameo at the end).  Instead, this is a movie that shows how Thor came around to hanging out in the present day world.

It is directed by Kenneth Branagh and it stars Natalie Portman, Chris Hemsworth, Idris Elba, and Anthony Hopkins.  I plan on seeing it, although with three kids, I might not get to it until Netflicks.  Check out the trailer below and let me know what you think.  I'm especially interested in the mythology fan who doesn't read comic books.  Does this still peak your interest or not?