Odin vs. Fenrir

 Presents

Odin sends his ravens off to the battle field in search for which of his warriors is in need of assistance.  They have trained night and day for centuries for this very battle and the skill with which they fight makes him proud.  Seeing some Valkyries fly off to the right, Odin heads left...and shivers.  There he sees his foe, unawares.  A moment's hesitation is all it takes for Odin to decide on his tactic.  The All Father already knows the outcome of the battle.  Now all that is left is to decide how it will happen.

Fenrir prowls the field and delights in ripping into the flesh of the Einherjar.  These souls are merely a warm up as he looks for the treacherous Tyr.  The hand of Tyr he swallowed centuries ago can still be tasted, and he wants more.  Fenrir shrugs off a few arrows and sword thrusts, for his fur coat is thick enough to serve as armor and is about to snap his jaws on yet another one of Valhalla's brave warriors, when he feels the smack of a battle axe swung with such force it can only be a god.  Tyr, perhaps?  The wolf smiles and turns to face the one-eyed Odin.  He doesn't have time to register the feeling in his stomach - is it anticipation or fear - before the two lock themselves in combat.

For hours these two rage.  During the battle, thunder hits so hard, that the two combatants shake with the force of it, but neither one noticed nor cared.  Odin's axe hurts, but does not do serious damage.  Fenrir's teeth can't seem to crack the god's mighty armor.  Wherever they go, both giant and Einherjar alike stop battle and watch.  News of the battle reaches the far side of the field where Vidar, Odin's son, has been searching for Fenrir.  Vidar has been preparing for this battle all his life by creating the ultimate shoes, ones he created by taking the scraps of leather left over when mortals make their shoes.  As a result, the sole of his shoes are thicker and stronger than plate mail armor.  If only he can get to the battle in time, but the shoes are slow going.

The battle appears to be a stalemate until finally Fenrir, in a streak of brilliance, enacts a new tactic and swallows Odin whole.  He barely has time to finish swallowing before he hears the shout of Vidar across the field.  He turns and decides to try the same strategy.  Just as he opens his mouth wide, Vidar slams his foot down on Fenrir's bottom jaw.  The fangs tear into the leather and stick, doing no damage to Vidar's foot.  Vidar then took his hands and grabbed Fenrir's top jaw.  With a mighty thrust, he rips Fenrir's jaws apart.  A mighty victory, but one too late.

The ruling...  Fenrir!

Bad Guys - 1

Good Guys - 0





Things aren't looking so good for our predictions.  Most people voted for Odin to win.  Go grab some popcorn, 'cause this war has just started.  Next up on our fight card... Thor vs. Jormungand.  At the moment, Jormungand is the favored, but Thor just doesn't care.

Who will be the ultimate survivor?  Stay tuned my friends.

See all the Ragnarok posts.  Just scroll down to the bottom to start reading if you want to read them in order.

~



I Know, I Know

O.K., I know I've promised the big fight between Odin and Fenrir, but man has my week been packed between swim team conference and state testing here at the high school, not to mention that this is Pine Wood Derby week!  So, give me a day or two and the big fight will begin.

While you are waiting, look at this cute kid here:

Luckily for him, he looks like his mom.  This poor deprived child has a bad playground at school.  They are trying to get Pepsi to buy them a new one in the Pepsi Refresh Everything Challenge.  Since you don't want to see this poor boy cry, you can vote for his school to get their playground.  The best thing is - it takes no time at all.  Just text 73774 and put 105202 in the subject line.

Please do this by Jan. 31 and this would do it for their school.  Currently they are 22nd.  They need to 10th.  HELP!

Next post - I promise - Odin vs. Fenrir

Here They Come to Save the Day!

The Final Pre-Game Post

The bad guys have amassed.  So what are the good guys doing?  Sitting around sorting socks?  Perish forbid!  They too are getting ready.  However, their preparations are not as snazzy as the bad guys. 

The gods have stationed at Bifrost (the Rainbow Bridge that connects Asgard with the rest of the worlds) the one, the only - Heimdall!  Heimdall not only has golden teeth (assumingly the metal and not just the color) but he also has heightened senses so much so that he can see up to a 100 leagues away and can hear grass growing.  For comparison, the longest distance recorded being seen was in a report by Korzenewsky in 1923 who saw some mountain peaks at 750 kilometers (466 and change miles) (more on this at: http://mintaka.sdsu.edu/GF/explain/atmos_refr/horizon.html).  In case you are wondering how that stacks up against a god, well, 100 leagues is roughly 326 miles.  However, Korzenewsky had perfect conditions and Heimdall is said to be able to do this night or day.  As far as grass growing, I could not find a recording of it on the Internet, but I did read someone on a forum somewhere say they could hear grass growing and that it has a distinct hissing sound.  Personally, I think that person may be a bit loony, but I'm not ready to rule out the possibility that grass does make a sound while growing.  It would be interesting to know if anyone out there can shed any light on this. 

Anyway, Heimdall blows his horn to warn the gods.  I'm not so sure they really needed Heimdall for this job.  If you read the previous post, the bad guys weren't really acting all ninja-stealth.  Who answers his call?  All the gods and the warriors in Valhalla.  The warriors in Valhalla are the dead who died courageously in battle.  They have been preparing for this battle ever since death by fighting the other Valhalla inhabitant, getting drunk, and passing out.  The next day, they all rise (even those who died in the previous day training) and do it again.

They all meet on the plain of Vigrid ("battle shaker") where the last battle will be fought.  Vigrid is a flat space of land that stretches 100 leagues in every direction (good for Heimdall...). 

I looked up Vigrid on Google Maps and they couldn't find it, but it did point me toward South America.  I did a Wikipedia search and found an organization that believes in Odin as creator of the universe and also says that all non-Aryan races are the cause for all bad things on earth.  Neither really helped me figure out where this battle will take place.

At this point Yggdrasil (the world tree) shakes (no mention if Ratatosk falls out) and the battles begin!


Next post - It's on!  Odin vs. Fenrir in a cage match of death!  Two men enter, Two gods enter, One god and one really big wolf enter but only one can leave!

See all the Ragnarok posts.  Just scroll down to the bottom to start reading if you want to read them in order.

~

Bring on the Bad Guys!

The earthquakes have rumbled.  The chains have been broken.  Everyone has cursed the green movement.  The roosters have crowed.  It's time!

Those still left by the sea notice the oceans begin to swirl.  Jormungand, the Midgard Serpent, twists in fury and makes his way toward land. Those unfortunate enough to witness this rare event will soon die a horrifying death as Jormungand breaths on the land.  The ground is stained by his poisonous breath.  The sky is stained by it as well.  There is just not enough Scope, Listerine, or Orbitz gum left in the world to clean that dirty mouth! 

As he continues to churn the waves, the ship Naglfar gets loose.  This is no S. S. Minnow.  This ship is made from the fingernails of dead men.  The giants quickly board this boat and sail towards the battlefield. 

A second ship sets sail from Hel (that's right, H E single hockey stick) carrying all it's inhabitants with Loki as their leader.  Who are the inhabitants of Hel?  Well, if you die bravely in battle, you go to Valhalla (or get picked up by Freya and taken to her love palace).  If you drown, you get taken to Ran's palace under the sea.  everyone else, which pretty much includes those unfortunate to get sick, the cowardly, and the evil go to Hel.  And now, they ride with Loki.

Surt, a giant with one big fiery sword, leads the fire giants into battle against the gods.  The sword he carries is so big and fiery that is scorches the earth, killing most of those who survived the winter, survived the darkness, survived the crazy immorality, and survived Jormungand's halitosis.

The weight of all these giants causes the rainbow bridge (Bifrost) to shatter!


So now, the good guys must answer the call - or find good hiding places!  Time to vote is running out!  Who will be the ultimate survivor?

See all the Ragnarok posts.  Just scroll down to the bottom to start reading if you want to read them in order.

~

Fimbulvetr

With Fenrir locked up, things go on as normal.  Loki too gets locked up for killing Baldur, the beautiful god.  While he's stuck in a cave with a snake dripping acid-like venom on his head, Fenrir strains against his ribbon chain.  These actions are to no avail since neither creature will be free until the end.  The end starts with Fimbulvetr.

Fimbulvetr is the winter of all winters.  Actually it is three winters.  The harshest of all winters and they are so harsh that spring, summer, and fall all get skipped so that they can happen back to back (to back).   Families will begin to go crazy and fight among each other.  All morality disappears as people, desperate to stop shoveling snow, resort to all sorts of depravity.  This is why we should NOT listen to Al Gore.  Global warming will keep this harsh winter from occurring and will save all of us. That is why I have my SUV outside running and pumping as much carbon dioxide into the air as possible.

Once this happens, the end begins to speed up.  Skoll, a great wolf (not as great as Fenrir, but this wolf makes the wolf from the three little pigs look weak) will eat the sun.  His brother, Hati, will eat the moon, plunging us into some pretty heavy darkness.  On top of that, the stars will vanish (no mention of any wolf eating them).

The humans that survived Fimbulvetr, will shutter when they hear the dreaded three cock crows.  One, named Fjalar, will crow to alert the giants.  Gullinkambui, the golden cock, will crow to alert the gods.  The cock will crow to raise the dead.

This pre-game show to the end of times ends with massive earthquakes.  These earthquakes will not only kill many humans left, but will break all things tied or secured.  ALL THINGS.  That means Loki and Fenrir will be free to play, and they aren't having good thoughts towards the gods at the moment.

Things are about to get ugly...  Place your bets by voting on the side for the gods you think will win.  At the time of this posting, no one believes in Tyr.  Only one believes Odin has what it takes.  Who do you think will win?

See all the Ragnarok posts.  Just scroll down to the bottom to start reading if you want to read them in order.

~

Survivor Ragnarok: It Begins...

In order to talk about the end of the world, we first need to go back to the past.  You see, when two divine beings love each other very much . . . um . . . well, let's just say that Loki and a giantess held hands and the resulting baby was a wolf.  Don't ask me how that happened, let's just say that the reproduction unit in health class is a lot easier now than it used to be.

Anyway, they called the baby puppy Fenrir and it was love and adored by all the gods.  O.K., it was at least tolerated.  It didn't bark too much and the Norse aren't too picky about a potty trained dog.  Once they learned that the wolf would be the end of world, Tyr, the bravest of the gods, locked him up in a cage.  Only Tyr would feed Fenrir everyday. 

The pup continued to grow and it soon became apparent that the cage would no longer hold him.  So, they decided to chain him up.  Knowing that the wolf would put up a fight, they decided to trick him:

  "Hey dog!"
  Woof bark bark.*   "That's wolf." (translated for you slackers that haven't studied Norse wolf)
  "Right.  You look pretty weak.  I bet you couldn't break a simple chain."
  Growl growl woof bark.*   "I can break anything you can make."
  "Yeah, right.  You know, forget it.  It wouldn't even be worth the time make a chain."
  Grrr growl woof!*  "That's because you know I can break it!"

It's not really that hard to talk a Norse monster wolf into doing something stupid.  They bring out this incredibly huge chain and shackle it around his neck.  With ease, Fenrir snaps it.  Dejected, the gods go to the dwarves and explain the problem.  For a small fee, the dwarves create the unbreakable chain.  The dwarves used some strange ingredients (the footstep of a cat, the roots of a mountain, a woman's beard, the breath of fishes, the sinews of a bear, and bird's spit) and created a thin ribbon they named Gleipnir.

This time they try the same approach.  Fenrir, however, is suspicious since they tried a huge last time and now they have a small thin ribbon.  Fenrir figures that they are either very stupid gods or it is a not so crafty trick.  Remember, he may be a wolf, but he is the son of the trickster figure of all trickster figures.  So he makes a deal.  He will allow them to put the ribbon around his neck IF one of the gods will put his hand in Fenrir's mouth while they tie him up.  Since all the gods know that once Fenrir realizes he can't break it that he will bite off the hand, no one volunteers.  Well, no one but Tyr, the bravest of the gods.  Tyr is not only a war god, but old myths have him as being top god once (before Odin takes over).  He also was the god assigned to feed Fenrir since the others were too scared.  Tyr willingly puts his hand in Fenrir's mouth and once Fenrir realizes he's been duped, he bites off the hand (that fed him!).

They then anchor the ribbon deep under ground and stack a huge rock on top of it.  When Fenrir tried to bite some more gods, they took a sword and shoved it in his mouth to keep him from biting down.  Fenrir now has nothing to do but to bide his time and wait for his release, which is predicted to occur at the end of time.


So the seeds for Ragnarok begin, but it is far from over.  Next time we see what Al Gore and Ragnarok have to with each other.  Until then!

Don't forget to vote for which god(s) you think will win their battle.

See all the Ragnarok posts.  Just scroll down to the bottom to start reading if you want to read them in order.

~

What's Your Sign?

Next post will continue the Ragnorak discussion (so be sure to vote), but this is breaking news and we here at Bubo's Blog had to bring it to you first (well, O.K., it is week old news, but maybe you haven't heard about it yet...)

As I'm sure that you know by now, it has been suggested to modify the zodiac to adjust for the movement of the earth.  As a result, all the dates slightly change and a new zodiac sign gets added.  Now I remember reading about this a few years ago in Sky and Telescope magazine.  In that case, it was an article about the constellation that makes up the new sign and the author of that article was saying that if astrologers wanted to be accurate, they would change the zodiac to add this guy in.  Nobody got in an uproar about that.  Recently a guy said the same thing and now everyone is upset.  No need to worry, however, as astrologers have said that the new classification system only applies to people born 2009 or later.  

The new sign is Ophiuchus, the serpent bearer.  It is the only sign that is based on a real person - Imhotep.  That's right, the same guy from The Mummy.  The Greeks didn't refer to him by that name.  They saw him as Aesclepius, the god of medicine and healing.   He carried the Caduceus that has become so well known for medicine.

O.K., so now we have a new sign.  people born between Nov. 29 and Dec. 17 are now classified as Ophiuchus.  What are their traits?  These people are 

• Seek out peace and wisdom
• Often the recipient of  both good luck and jealousy
• Can interpret of dreams
• Like to reach for the stars
• And they like to wear plaid

I got most of my information from: http://www.nowpublic.com/style/ophiuchus-personality-traits-13th-zodiac-sign-2747550.html so feel free to check them out for more info.

So what are the new dates?  Here they are.  Note, you may have changed signs:

• Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16
• Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11
• Pisces: March 11-April 18
• Aries: April 18-May 13
• Taurus: May 13-June 21
• Gemini: June 21-July 20
• Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10
• Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16
• Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30
• Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23
• Scorpio: Nov. 23-29
• Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17
• Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20

I went from Scorpio to Libra.  Funny, I don't really follow my horoscope, but I feel a bit disappointed in moving to Libra...  So what about you?  Did you change? 

Survivor - Ragnarok Edition

With 2012 quickly approaching, we here at Bubo's Blog have decided to focus on the end of times.  But what do a bunch of Mayans know?  The Norse have it down pat.  They know exactly how the end arrives - and they are preparing for it.  There are several battles that happen in Ragnarok and we are going to detail each one for you.  So while the posts start coming in, you will need to decide who will win and who will lose by choosing the gods on the poll to the side that will be beat their foes.  Here is the fight card:

ODIN   vs.    FENRIR

Odin - One-eyed head god that keeps all the Norse gods under control

Fenrir - Monster wolf who already bit one god's hand off as a pre-fight snack

THOR   vs.   JORMUNGAND

Thor - Warrior god of thunder, uses magical hammer and is the strongest of the gods

Jormungand - Monster snake also known as the world serpent, so big he circles the globe

FREYR   vs.   SURT

Freyr - This important farming god has a magical sword that fights on its own

Surt - An angry giant who has a sword of fire

TYR     vs.    GARM

Tyr - War god and bravest of the gods - he lost his hand to Fenrir early

Garm - Monster dog, second canine only Fenrir

Final Title Match!

HEIMDALL    VS.     LOKI

Heimdall -  Watchman of Asgard, has senses so precise, he can hear grass growing

Loki - Shapeshifting trickster figure, grew up with the gods, but has betrayed them now

O.K, now it is up to you.  In the next few posts, we will lead up to Ragnarok, then each fight will be detailed out in their own post.  You pick which god you think will win.  I will say this, not all gods win, not all gods lose.  So go ahead and take a stand!  Who will be the ultimate Survivor?

See all the Ragnarok posts.  Just scroll down to the bottom to start reading if you want to read them in order.

~



What's Worse Than Medusa?

Why, Medusa in spider form, of course.  For the record, I HATE spiders with a passion.  Check this little bugger out:

The big one is the female and the little one is the male.  I've actually seen one of these in Hawaii where they are called Garden Spiders.  In Guam, somebody brought in a brown snake of some sort which had no predators.  It practically ate all the birds so now there are pretty much no predators for this spider and they overrun the place.  Scratch Guam off my "To Visit" list.

Now why would this spider make my mythology blog?  Well, in Lost, which I am currently mid way through season 3 (catching up via Netflix), they show this spider in an episode ("Expose").  However, in the show, it is not the harmless little garden spider, it is revealed to be the dreaded Latrodectus Regina, a type of widow spider that is nick named the Medusa Spider.  It appears that one bite from this monster will paralyze you for about 8 hours.  To make matters worse, when we see the spider to begin with, the science middle school teacher, who is one of the island cast aways, is catching one in a jar.  He tells a girl on the island named Nikki about the paralysis poison and that the female (the one he has in the jar) emits pheromones that will attract every male in the area to her.  Pretty nasty stuff.

(*Spoiler Alert* if you are also catching up on Lost and haven't gotten this far)

Now, as the episode goes on we find out that Nikki and her boyfriend Paulo (also stuck on the island) are really thieves who killed this older man and took 8 million dollars worth of diamonds.   The diamonds seem to be lost in the plane crash and eventually Nikki gives up the search.  Paulo, however, has found said diamonds and is not telling her because he loves her and is afraid that if she has the diamonds, she might leave him when they get rescued.  Due to his stupidity, she finds out and thinks he was trying to keep them all for himself.  She meets him out in the jungle where she opens the Medusa spider jar that the science teacher had.  Then she throws the spider on him, which bites him and he falls paralyzed.  She then retrieves the diamonds and sets off, but not before those pheromones kick in and she gets bit by a male spider.  In classic Twilight Zone fashion, the other castaways find them, mistake them for dead and do a quick burial. 

I love the connection to Medusa here.  However, the Lostpeida website has this to say: "'Medusa' could also reference a creature of Greek mythology."  Come on!  Could be?  Could be?  What's an English teacher to do...

If Anyone Has Any Objections, Let Him Speak Now or Forever Hold His Peace

Just saw this in the news.  Thought I'd pass it along.  I hope to get some real posts out soon.  I am thinking of starting a series of posts on Norse Death.  If you are interested in knowing where Vikings go after they kick the bucket, let me know.


'Magic Pythons' in Cambodia Begin Wedded Blissssss


BY SOPHENG CHEANG Associated Press

SVAY ROLUM, Cambodia (AP) — Hundreds of villagers flocked to a wedding ceremony Monday between a 16-foot (4.8-meter), 200-pound (90-kilogram) female python and her slightly smaller mate — both believed to be magic snakes that bring prosperity and peace.

The two-hour ceremony in Svay Rolum village, 12 miles (20 kilometers) south of the capital Phnom Penh, ended with two Buddhist monks blessing the pair and villagers showering them with flowers as wedding music played.
Most Cambodians, almost all Buddhists, also subscribe to animism — a belief that spirits can inhabit all sorts of living and inanimate objects. Whenever an odd animal makes an appearance, it is cause for the superstitious to celebrate.
"We married these pythons to ask for health and prosperity in our village," said 41-year-old Neth Vy, owner of female python named Chamrouen.
"We were told (by fortunetellers) that the two pythons are husband and wife and they need to live together, and if we don't marry them we will meet bad luck," said Neth Vy, who found the then-tiny python while fishing 16 years ago.
He said since the snake became part of the household, the family's living conditions had steadily improved and no misfortune had befallen them.
The male python, named Kroung Pich, was caught 12 days ago by Hin Mao, a 44-year-old, childless woman who said she regarded it as her son.